The new superman flic, which I likely won’t see because I don’t want to be in the target market of that kind of thing, wants you to believe that being kind to people is punk rock. And a chorus of hot-topic posers made Iggy Pop relevant again for his last ditch for 15 minutes via every and any social media content available.
Here’s the thing though, kindness isn’t punk. Opposition to authority is. If you want to get as specific as a named 4th Nirvana song, it’s opposition to invalidated or corrupt authority. The kind that would shut down a skateboarder, not because he’s damaging the stairs he’s jumping down, but because he might hurt himself. We’ll yeah. That’s the point. Phil 1:21. You think we skateboard to be safe? Punks don’t hate cops because they arrest criminals. They hate cops when they don’t arrest criminals. They hate authority when it give a technical hall pass for certain wrongs at the expense of other wrongs. So, it usually adopts those wrongs in protest. And just like that movie and that staircase, the world is need for a smattering of actual theological punks. Not posers in the fashion or capes actively marketing to them. But real, opposition theology for a world turned lame.
When almost every pastor started doing the Eucharist online a few years back. It was ecclesiologically punk rock to give the theological middle finger to “The Man” and get arrested for your faith. It never had anything to do with what virus you might catch. The newly minted online church clutched their pearls like so many Fox news watchers as a handful of pastors got arrested, and at least in my home town/province, got acquitted too. Turns out you can ride your skateboard here. And bastards like acting as if all cops are like that.
Before that, a smattering of churches sought to bring gender equality to the theological skate park. And would have got away with it, if they didn’t actually want gender to stop existing. Under the bland guise of egalitarian betterment, they let women try the pulpit out only to then take every part of what made them women in the first place away from them. Because it’s cool and arguably punk rock when a girl drops into the half pipe, dressed like a girl, makeup’d like a girl and for all intents and purposes acting like a girl. But when when Phoebe, Pricilla, and Junia began showing up in baggy men's clothes, low taper fades and faux hawks, to “skateboard” because their latest fashion accessory had two trucks and four wheels. This didn’t make them Punk, though they looked the part. Because looking punk is easy. Anyone can order band patches and vintage denim online. And nothing is a greater tell of a theological poser than the collection of similar letters, sewn onto the vest of an M.Div. You think you’re books and certificates impress us, or give you the belonging you demand. Do something challenging with your board. A kickflip maybe. Turn things upside down and backwards. Look cool doing it. Preach about the sins a woman could commit. The guys who have low taper fades, baggy clothes and a commentary set or two, would. Right after they point out the sinful posering of their peers. Do you want to actually do ministry or is walking around with the church board enough for your appetites?
And long before all of this, A guy named Marty was willing to take the flack for posting harsh words on a wall. He did it with hammer and nails but I'm guessing spray paint was hard to find in Wittenberg. He didn’t care if he would get in trouble for the words. He cared that they were true. Not just like the E-celeb pastors in his heritage that would end up wearing sneakers for the sneaker heads, and not how they gripped a board during an ollie. No. He tagged the catholic church with red letters that made their dogmatic jaws drop and Bansky’d a reformation out of a church that was indulging itself a bit too much.
In all these things something is happening under the radar of the culture that is trying to get to truth at the cost of the almost true. Calling out those trying to claim authority they don’t or can’t have and those who stole it and should have it removed from their possession and public ascent. Something that recognizes that people can make laws that make no sense, but someone can make laws that can’t be argued with. A no skateboarding sign over perfectly architecture’d concrete, is damn near criminal. But gravity and the laws around it was penned by someone who had real authority. You can vote on one, and only play with the other.
“Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever.”
Psalm 104:5 KJV
Somewhere, somehow, the world of theology stopped dealing with gravity and started dealing with the myriad of signs posted to stop punks from enjoying its limits. It saw that people enjoyed the facts that a desire to fly could be snuffed out mid 360 and still land in a place that makes the skater look cool. Anyone with a healthy marriage and a few kids can show you this kind of trick, what it looks like when you land it, and how comparatively lame egalitarian theory can be. It sure holds that board and wears those clothes as if it were meant to. But like all posers it’s missing the requisite landing. One that respects the gravity that restricts but enjoys it all the same.
The need for a theological punk, exists because of how soft the poser can get while stealing punk’s clout. That’s why no one has more effects pedals and nicer guitars then the modern worship pastor. One who has about as much edge as the circular plexiglass cage around his brush wielding drummer. Or a preacher with more books than reasonable time to read them, or be educated by them. Having Sproul and Spurgeon on your shelf only feeds your sheep if you read them. Or better yet, stay calm when your congregation reads them more than you. It’s expensive wallpaper other wise. A credibility bookcase as valid as a second hand patch vest or perfectly clean skateboard. You can tell a skater, skates, by the damage his board shows. And a preacher by the cracks in his library’s spines.
There’s no skin in this game anymore. And as such, no ability to do what skin does. Touch and feel. Modern theology is out of touch with the realities of a sinful world and convinced that what it feels, by itself, is as valid and real as what concrete could make them feel if they drop into the bowl for once. And the punk, knows what the bottom of the bowl feels like. In falling and in the momentum of coming back out of it. What the push and pull of a mosh pit is, and why blocking people you disagree with Christian twitter (Still not calling it X), but will be heavenly roommates with is foolishness. And generally ruins the fun of it.
In all of this, we have tried the theological mainstream.
We have seen the theological poser.
But the desperate and satisfying need of this generations will be the return of the theological punk. To stick it to the man, and his sin, so he might be reconciled to God like a reunion tour of his favourite band. Not the same as it was before, but bettered by the memory of it. It will look like danger and risk to anyone not willing to risk danger. But it will also look like orthodoxy. Moreso than popular culture is capable of mirroring.
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